Broken Children

This was a speech piece I wrote for my cousin's speech presentation in his class. I always write for him and help him out, especially when he asked me. He is my special brother. And this is a topic that we both could best relate and this is written based on our experiences. We are one of these broken children. | August 19, 2019

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I know for a fact that divorce not only breaks families but it breaks hearts of its children, affecting their well-being and life as a whole. It's not only about divorce because as of today Divorce is not yet implemented in the country but separation, annulment or generally belonging to a broken family damages children.

We all hope to belong to a complete and a happy family. I once did belong but now is a quite different story. I bet everyone of us prays for family living together harmoniously in one roof full of love and compassion and care. But not everyone is blessed with one, sad to say that many of my friends don't have nor I do. It is absolutely a pain in the heart thinking that "what did I do to deserve this or what did we do to not have a family like others have?". And children not quite innocent of what was going on ended up being broken too like its own family. And one of the hardest thing of being alive is brokenness. It is difficult to deal with knowing that the shards of this brokenness can no longer stick together, can't be mended, can't be healed with any medicines or band-aids available in the counter. Brokenness chokes us every single day knowing that we woke up incomplete and sad and bothered of what may lie ahead of us in this kind of situation. Some children chose to let the broken pieces hurt them badly, devastating their life to bad influencers, to intoxications, to vices, to whatever resort they could find just to feel a way better. But its not helping actually. It even breaks them more into tiny bits of pieces, feeling hopeless and even helpless.

Hopeless, because again we, children of broken families, sees the future of being incomplete. That no matter how hard we try to do the right and best things it still cannot compensate the brokenness of our home, that it canot lessen the pain, and of the burden we are carrying. Hopeless because at the end of the day it would seem that everything is jut nothing and we ask ourselves "what am I fighting for? Or "what are we fighing for? Why will we fight when at the end of the day this family will still be the same? Why fight when even my parents didn't fight for this family?".

Helpless. I felt helpless, we felt helpless because sometimes we even blame ourselves for not having done something not to let the separation happen. We blame ourselves and we are even blame by other people because we as children had not done something to ease the situation so it won't come to the point of breaking, that we even allow the cracks to multiply until everything just break apart. And being the victim and being guilty at the same time pains us, makes me feel helpless and depressed. But I have been thinking over and over that its not my fault and I should not be blamed by other people because God knows I did not pray to have this kind of family, we did not pray to have this kind of family!

People sympathizes us, they understands us but they do not know that every single day was not like heaven. People may sympathize us but they can't empathize us because they do not know how it feels. Sometimes it is reasonable to say that children like us has the right to be stupid, to be delinquent, to do whatever the hell it is. It is reasonable to say that we have the right to rebel, to wash away the pains though it cant really wash away. Because this is somehow the only way to suppress the feelings we feel. And you should not scold us. But also there are children who can absorbed all the feeling of brokenness in them but still they are fighting. They are actually fighting for their own lives and not anymore for other people or for their own family. They actually stop fighting for their family because it is of no use, but they are standing up for themselves, for their future at least. But now I find no more reason to fight for myself. For what reasons will I? I'm tired of fighting.

These children though has different ways of coping with this struggle are brilliant children. They hid it in themselves or maybe it was covered by their pains. It is absolutely a pain to each of us, broken children, and the only thing that other people can do is to empathize us, to support and guide us, to let us find solace in the world that we find no more beautiful.